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You Deserve Love!
You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection. Buddha
There was a time when I wondered whether anyone would ever love me—really love me, the way I wanted to be loved. But because I knew all my faults and flaws I didn’t feel worthy. So I focused on all the ways I could love and take care of others so that they would love me in return. How silly. No matter how much I gave, what I got back never seemed like enough.
It was many years before I realized that it wasn’t because I wasn’t being loved. It was because no matter how much someone loved me, I didn’t believe it, so I couldn’t let it in. No matter how much I did or worked or gave, it never seemed to turn into what I “thought” I deserved back. The reality was I was letting in just exactly what I thought I deserved.
Learning that Spirit is Love, and that Love is the impulsion of Life itself, and that Love is always available, I began to practice being the love I wanted. Not doing to get, simply being love. I also decided that no one could love me until I loved myself. Saying “I Love You” to myself was hugely difficult at the start. As it became easier, and I really began focusing on my own unique and precious being, I noticed that people seemed to love me more. What really happened is that I let in the Love that was always there, because I finally felt I truly deserved it. Wow, did the Love in my life increase tenfold! And I was able to give so much more real love, without trying to get something back!
Spiritual Contemplation: What are you doing to get love? Begin to tell yourself “I love you” with the same openhearted feeling that you say to your child or loved one.
Affirmation: I love me. I stop trying to get love. I freely give love. We are all worthy of Love!
Love Yourself, Just the Way You Are! Self-Help your way to Self-Esteem
Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world. Lucille Ball
The self-help movement has done so much to support improvement in every area of our lives. We can improve our relationships, communication, businesses, and financial strategies. We are also admonished to improve our health, fitness, and overall well-being. These are all worthwhile endeavors. Then we are told we should improve our teeth, our hair, our clothes and our car. We are bombarded with ways to improve every facet of ourselves, even when those parts of us are just fine. This can both grow and erode our self-esteem.
This is where self-help can escalate into self-judgment and even self-hatred. Constantly focusing on improving ourselves can easily imply that there is something basically wrong or flawed with who we are and how we show up in the world. It’s extremely important for us to love ourselves, this means to first become comfortable in our own skin—to be okay with ourselves, warts and all! Yes, we want to grow and improve so that we can become more of who we are and express more of the joyous Divine-self that is the truth of our being. Then we can focus on improving the things that really make a difference or help us to contribute more to life, to our families, to the things that matter to us.
Spiritual Contemplation: Which parts of your life are you improving because you think there’s something wrong with you? Which parts of your life are you improving so that you can expand and grow? Where can you love yourself just a little bit more?
Affirmation: I love myself, just the way I am. I focus on improving only those things that allow me to grow and expand.
Magical Flavors – Cooking as Abundant Love
Cooking is like painting or writing a song. Just as there are only so many notes or colors, there are only so many flavors—it’s how you combine them that sets you apart. Wolfgang Puck
Preparing a meal for those you hold dear is an abundant expression of love if you enjoy cooking. Creating magical flavors from mere words on a page and a dash of your imagination is a gift. As you prepare the table, light the candles, and choose the perfect drink, you wait with excitement to see how it will be received. And yes, you want it received with joy, but remember that the joy you just experienced in creating this feast is your gift no matter how it is received. Because you put the spice of your heart and soul into your creation, in a way there’s a part of you that is taken into their being as the food is eaten. You cannot separate yourself from your creation. That part of you that is love and caring enriches their body, mind, and soul.
Spiritual Contemplation: Prepare a meal for a loved one and notice all the love and good thoughts you add to the mix.
Affirmation: I add love to all my creations!
Childlike Perspective Creates an Opening for Kingdom of Heaven
Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” Matthew 19:14
What is this childlike quality to which the Kingdom of Heaven belongs? Without romanticizing or overindulging our children, can we discover what the Master Teacher is referring to? We know children can be cruel on the playground, wholly absorbed in themselves, and developmentally unable to make good decisions. Yet we also know that an infant or toddler can capture and maintain the attention of a whole room full of adults. While we may seek to correct the six- or eight-year-old, we do nothing but encourage the toddler who is just learning to walk. Even in our teenagers, under the hair and attitude, there is a precious possibility that is still unfolding.
Our children love their parents long past the point when some parents deserve it. There is an innocent expectation, a profound faith in a child’s reliance on those around him to provide for his needs, to nurture and love him. In the absence of serious neglect or abuse, our children continually express wonder and awe toward life, love toward others, and an openhearted engagement with life.
Spiritual Contemplation: What childlike qualities cause me to feel I am living in the Kingdom of Heaven? What experience/skepticism/worldly wisdom prevent my living FROM those qualities, thereby keeping me out of the Kingdom of Heaven?
Affirmation: I live my life with an open heart, with awe and wonder at the beauty and mystery of all Life, including the people in my world. I release old stories or hurts that stand between me and my experience of the Kingdom of Heaven.
How to Love Your Inner Child
It sounds corny, but I’ve promised my inner child that never again will I ever abandon myself for anything or anyone else. Wynonna Judd
Every one of us has an inner child who continues to play out the feelings, emotions, and behaviors of our childhood. She constantly tries to get from others what she didn’t get from her parents. Unfortunately she attracts people just like those from her past and tries to manage her adult life with the same strategies or emotions that she’s had since childhood. Yet decisions made from a child’s point of view with a child’s emotions are unlikely to operate successfully in an adult world. This inner child is not the child who will lead us into the Kingdom of Heaven. She is more likely to lead us into continually re-creating our childhood relationships and issues.
We can help prevent our inner child from running (ruining) our lives by giving her what she needs. This means we become the parent to ourselves. We give to her the love, approval, recognition, care, and support that we didn’t get as a child. In this way we show ourselves that we are, in fact, loveable, worthy, capable, and that we belong. This opens the door to our Higher Self, our spiritual essence. We begin to realize that the Divine Presence, in us, as us, is giving to us the very thing we are giving to our inner child. All the love, approval, acceptance, recognition and support are always, already there.
Spiritual Contemplation: How is your inner child running your life? What does she need from you? What do you need from yourself, as the Divine Presence in you? Spend some time giving it to yourself.
Affirmation: I love myself. I accept and approve of my Self—my inner child and all the ways I do my best. I recognize my unique beauty and I care about the things that are important to me!
Groundhog Day – Face the Sun, Release the Shadows
Celebrate Groundhog Day by releasing your shadows!
American folklore claims that a furry rodent like a groundhog or hedgehog makes an appearance in the middle of winter on Candlemas Day, and thereby predicts the next six weeks of weather. In Europe it’s a wolverine, badger, or sacred bear that comes out of its den and does the prognosticating. Screwy as it sounds, this divination of weather is actually an ancient tradition dating back to the pagan festival of Imbolc, which was an astronomical midpoint between winter solstice and the spring equinox and was associated with the goddess Brighid. She represented the light half of the year and served as the power bringing people from the darkness into the spring.
It is said if the groundhog emerges from his burrow on groundhog day and doesn’t see his shadow, good weather will soon arrive. But another six weeks of winter weather are in store if he does. However a lot depends on what direction the little guy is facing and whether or not the sun’s shining. He can’t see his shadow if he’s facing the sun, which is a good metaphor for us all: shadows disappear when we face the light. So on this Groundhog Day come out of a hole you may have found yourself in, face the light, and watch the shadows disappear from your world. It’s all contingent on your viewpoint: it’s either six more weeks of winter or only six more weeks until spring.
Spiritual Contemplation: Where are some shadows looming large in your life? Instead of perpetuating the reoccurrence of them for another six weeks, try turning your perspective in a different direction—face the light and watch the shadows fall behind you.
Affirmation: I feel the warmth of the light upon my face!
Young, Precious Expressions of Life – the Truth about Children
Children must be taught how to think, not what to think. Margaret Mead
Born of the womb that birthed the heavens, your child is much more than you see. But are your plans for your child more important than the child? Do you keep your children so busy that they have no time to daydream or be themselves? By attempting to keep your children constantly engaged and gratified, you become their hostage and not their parent. Know, instead, that you can show them a quiet, joyful way of being.
Children learn to love themselves from how you treat them, so be mindful and present in their presence. Treat them with respect. Love and guide them without manipulation and they will learn to trust themselves. Overly protective parenting. will teach children to fear disappointment. Allow them to make their own decisions and they will learn to trust themselves. If they fail it’s all right because they will survive just as we all have. Better, they will become stronger because of that failing. Express your love and confidence in their ability to deal with what’s at hand and stay away from the shame and blame game. Always have room in your soul to hear the voice of that young precious expression of Life in front of you. The gift of the heavens will far exceed your dreams.
Spiritual Contemplation: In what ways do you impose your will upon a child denying his or her soul’s personality the ability to develop? How can you be with a child in a quieter way, like a walk or meditation?
Affirmation: I honor the unique expression of my child!
Beloved Community – Spiritual Community
I have to tell you, I’m proudest of my life off the court. There will always be great basketball players who bounce that little round ball, but my proudest moments are affecting people’s lives, effecting change, being a role model in the community. Magic Johnson
You can do spiritual work alone in a cave or in your home, but in a community with others it’s give and take, sharing and receiving. When the artistic director of our community recently made her transition, the choir showered her husband with continual love until he surfaced stronger again. Learning with others brings a diversity of perspectives around abstract concepts. Welcoming a child into the world with a spiritual family committing to lifelong support is comforting. Celebrating the times of joy and supporting during times of pain are gifts of community. To grow with individuals of like mind in affinity groups of a larger family is empowering. To have a shoulder to cry on with someone who understands your spiritual beliefs is calming. When you have friends to sing, dance, and feast with you are never alone.
Buddhists call their community a sangha, meaning a fellowship or group you share and spiritually grow with. In order to help build the sangha, you must continue to develop your inner qualities so you can contribute to the group. The beauty of community is that other members may awaken you to areas from your inner work that can still use some attention. Be grateful for your spiritual family and trust the process.
Spiritual Contemplation: What keeps me from engaging more in spiritual community?
Affirmation: My spiritual community is a blessing in my life!
Season for Peace and Nonviolence
Must the citizen ever for a moment, or in the least degree, resign his conscience? . . . I think that we should be men first, and subjects afterward. It is not desirable to cultivate a respect for the law, so much as for the right. Henry David Thoreau
The sixty-four days between the dates of the assassination of Mahatma Gandhi on January 30 and Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. on April 4 are a time to consciously practice sixty-four ways to implement nonviolence. Throughout this season for peace you can read inspiring quotes for reflection and contemplation. You may also choose to espouse and affirm peace, or allow your daily spiritual practices to revolve around peaceful actions. You are a spiritual leader and how you respond to the confrontational dynamics of life will demonstrate to all that you’re deeply grounded in peace.
Peace is not a passive choice—it is a courageous one. King, Gandhi, and His Holiness the Dalai Lama are examples of bold individuals who didn’t lie down for peace but instead took a stand that didn’t include guns in order to have their principles prevail. Mahatma Gandhi’s Satyagraha, which is loosely translated as soul force—an insistence on truth or truth force—is a particular practice within nonviolent civil resistance. His approach influenced Nelson Mandela’s struggle in South Africa as well as the campaigns of Martin Luther King Jr. and James Bevel during the civil rights movement in the United States.
Spiritual Contemplation: Where in your life are you tired of the oppression going on? Are you willing to change that without a violent approach?
Affirmation: I am moved by the soul force and am insistent on truth being expressed!
Receiving the Gift – Accepting My Good
Human life runs its course in the metamorphosis between receiving and giving. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
A spiritual community I had started in the Northwest decided to remodel a space to create our own sanctuary. Our community came together in a barn raising–like experience and put in hundreds of hours over the next two months to create our new home. It then became clear that we needed a podium for our new sanctuary; and since podiums are a tool of a minister’s trade, I was delegated to find one I liked. Whew, now that was a challenge. Not wanting a large, imposing thing to stand behind, or a Plexiglas see-through stand that felt like a business meeting, I searched and looked in every catalogue I could find.
Then one day an eighty-year-old gentleman from our community offered to build me a podium. He’d just retired and taken up woodworking and wanted to give me a gift. In the past I would have said no. Not feeling worthy, not wanting to put him out, afraid that I wouldn’t like it, or wondering if I could make sure he did it right, somehow, I would have managed to reject the gift. This time I simply said yes. To my surprise he measured my height and carefully quizzed me about my furniture style. Two months later he brought me the most simple, light, and beautiful podium I had ever seen . . . all because I was willing to accept his gift.
Spiritual Contemplation: How are you with receiving gifts? Do you reject them? Try to control them? When have you allowed someone to gift you in a way that truly filled your heart and life with abundance?
Affirmation: I accept my good through the gifts that others give me. I release any need to hide, deny, or control how my good comes to me.
Beauty Is in the Eye of the Beholder – The Wonder of the Present Moment
People often say that “beauty is in the eye of the beholder,” and I say that the most liberating thing about beauty is realizing that you are the beholder. This empowers us to find beauty in places where others have not dared to look, including inside ourselves. Salma Hayek
One morning in Costa Rica, I awoke to find the volcano perfectly etched against the dawn light. As I watched over my morning coffee, the mountain grew a cap: a perfectly circular cloud called a lenticular cloud. As the sun rose and the cloud grew, the mist of the rain forest began to rise. Over time the volcano was shrouded in clouds once again. That was a breathtaking morning, and I was so grateful to have been awake to see it. Beholding the symmetry of the mountain in the pearly light, over the lush canopy, while hearing the birds calling back and forth to each other, was an opportunity to behold the Presence of Life Itself.
This is the same wonder I experience when I gaze into the face of my son, enjoy a moment of peace in my home, or experience the power of prayer. Everywhere we turn, there is an opportunity to behold the Presence of the Divine. It’s easy to see in the drama of nature or in a foreign land. Yet it also is present right in our own backyards and in the familiar faces and places of our ordinary lives. Your only job is to be present to it, so you can behold it.
Spiritual Contemplation: Where in your life, person, place, or experience, can you behold beauty rather than the something else you may be focusing on?
Affirmation: I cast my gaze upon what is beautiful right here and right now. I behold the Present of the ONE in my life today.
The Paradox of Gratitude & Thanksgiving
If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is thank you, it will be enough. Meister Eckhart
Yes, you can literally “thank you” your way into something more and better than you have right now. No matter how stuck or uncomfortable your life may be, looking for something to be grateful for sends a whole new message to the Universe. The Law of Attraction is forever operating, and it attracts to you the very thing you are focused on. So if you are constantly focused on what’s not working, how much you don’t have, or whatever is wrong—guess what? The Law is simply going to continue to mirror that back to you.
Now you don’t have to lie and be grateful for the things you don’t like. That’s just silly and you won’t believe it anyway. No, what you have to do is simply find positive things to be grateful for, even if they have nothing to do with what’s causing your unhappiness. Be grateful for what is working in your life or what small things you do have or the good that you are receiving. This then becomes the predominant thought that the Law of Attraction will use to re-create your life.
The paradox of gratitude is that by being grateful for what is now, you can literally thank you your way into new.
Spiritual Contemplation: What are you grateful for?
Affirmation: Thank you for all the good, all the love, all the joy in my life. I am grateful for the abundance I have.
Unpackaging Your Perceptions – Freedom beyond Judgement
Things are as they are. Looking out into the universe at night, we make no comparisons between right and wrong stars, nor between well and badly arranged constellations. Alan Watts
Let go of the illusion of attempting to get somewhere and relax in the timeless here and now so you might observe with ease and grace all that transitions through your awareness. Create space in your awareness so you can allow happenings and understandings to present themselves without your packaging them in preconceived notions inside your head. In doing so, you will bring a mindfulness to the experience that is not entangled in the particular of the moment and autonomous of the happening.
When you can let go of the need to identify and label you will find liberation and can go large or small, unfocused or specific depending on the appropriate call of the moment. You can enter specific stories or conflicts without needing what you want to have to happen for your happiness. You are no longer dependent on outcome, which frees you to see a larger truth than what your mind has conjured up. You are witnessing your consciousness, actions, and growth in relation to what is playing out in your world. You are freed from the pain or pleasure by just noticing it and making room for whatever you find going on in a wakeful awareness, so you can move on.
Spiritual Contemplation: Find some time to just sit and notice all thoughts and circumstances that come to your awareness without judgment. Instead of pushing anything away, resist not and let it have space so what’s next and now may float into your wakeful, witnessing self.
Affirmation: I see without judgment!
Paying Attention to the Lessons of Earth School – Free to Choose!
In school, you’re taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you’re given a test that teaches you a lesson. Tom Bodett
Earth School is always in session. Every day we have the opportunity to invite growth and to let a little more of our greatness out! Every event, activity, and interaction is an opportunity for mindfulness and spiritual practice. The question is only “Are we paying attention?”
As individualized expressions of the One Universal Mind, the one thing that stands out is that we are not “robots or automatons” like Holmes describes in The Science of Mind. We have free will and can choose. We can choose to live a life in alignment with Spiritual Truth, or not. This is Spirit’s great gift of Love to us—that we are left alone to discover the truth of our own being. How do we do this? By learning from our choices.
Spiritual Contemplation: What subjects are you currently taking in Earth School? To which lessons do you need to pay more close attention?
Affirmation: I pay attention to the lessons my choices teach me.
Can You Imagine greater Abundance?
If we keep our thought fixed upon taking the form of some desire in our lives, then it will begin to take this form. If we change the desire, then It will change the form. Therefore, there must be a definite purpose in our imagination. Ernest Holmes
My son and I used to love making things out of giant cardboard boxes. A refrigerator box became a pirate ship in the living room, complete with mast, cannon ports, and ship’s wheel. A washing machine box became a castle for him to play knight in shining armor. A long thin box became an airplane hanging from his shoulders as he zoomed around the house. It was so much fun to watch his imagination as he saw a real pirate ship, drew up a real drawbridge to the castle, and flew through the air on his powerful wings. What an imagination!
Our brains don’t actually know the difference between a real and imagined experience. So as you imagine yourself having more abundance, this is what becomes real to you. Begin to see with the eyes of a child, imagining your apartment as your dream house and your life filled with overflowing blessings. Every time you see what you want in your mind’s eye, you are creating it through the Power of the Law. Stop looking at the cardboard boxes of limitation, and start seeing yourself soar! You can experience greater abundance to the degree that you can imagine it.
Spiritual Contemplation: What kind of abundance do you want to imagine? Let yourself go—daydream about the life you want to experience. Write down some descriptive words and phrases, not about the form, but about the experience. Let it become real to you in your imagination.
Affirmation: I imagine greater Abundance in my life, today!