You teach people how to treat you in all your relationships.  Dr. Phil

Unconditional love is a powerful acceptance of others’ beingness and the unique way they show up in the world. We see through the behaviors that are merely the expression of past experience and false beliefs to the essential reality of another. Unconditional Love does not need people to be different from what they are, but this doesn’t mean that we have to accept everything they do or say. Being a doormat and enduring behavior that is not acceptable in a relationship is not unconditionally loving either another or oneself.

Learning to separate the behavior from the person frees us from needing people to be different in our relationships. This means we don’t blame, or point fingers, or try to fix them. It also means we take ownership of our reactions, trigger points, and old patterns in our relationships. We share our feelings, needs, and requests in a loving manner. Others are free to try to understand and respond in a way that is supportive. They are also free not to. Allowing them the freedom to respond or not also allows us that same freedom. This is all about compatible behavior, mutual values and needs, and learning to get along. It is possible love someone unconditionally without wanting to hang out with him or be in his life.

Spiritual Contemplation: Do I confuse tolerance of unacceptable behavior in a relationship with unconditional love? Can I feel unconditional love while still asking for what I need and want?

Affirmation: I ask for my needs to be met without making someone else wrong. I no longer accept unacceptable behavior in my life!