It’s that time of year…no, not the holidays…the days we scrutinize our lives, our relationships, and most importantly our bodies for all the things that we want, need to fix, or finally need to get a handle on. And, if this year is like so many of the previous ones, we’ll write resolutions which are forgotten by the end of the month.

Why do we repeatedly make these resolutions? Because we think that improving, fixing or changing something about our lives or our bodies will make us happy. This leads to what is commonly known as “when I, then I” thinking. When I exercise, loose weight, get organized, get a better job, get a person, loose the person I have, etc…then I’ll be happy. Another version we torture ourselves with is “if only…then I’d be happy.” If only I was thinner, cooler, cuter, had a nicer house, more friends, more money, more time, etc, etc….then I’d be happy.”

Of course, as we all know, often getting something only makes us happy for a short period of time. And then we want something else. Or we are on to the next self-improvement regime. Rinse and repeat, year after year.

The challenge is that in the “when I, then I” and “if only” game, everything is focused on something on the outside. Even the way our body looks is for what we think other people think, not how we feel inside of this amazing body that is our home for the duration. To make our outer lives fulfilling, we must start on the inside. Here are 3 ways to live more from the inside out.

The first – Find your inner why.

So, I admit, I’ve started more exercise programs and donated more money to gyms than I care to count. But now I’m finding myself completely motivated in an amazing online exercise program with a wonderful personal trainer. I am doggedly committed to it. What’s changed? I am absolutely committed to being able to cart my own suitcase around, in Europe, on and off trains, and up and down cool boutique hotels, until I’m well into my 80s. Travel fills me up and shakes me out of my comfort zone like nothing else. It’s one of my passions. I refuse to stop until I don’t want to travel, and for no other reason. So now my exercise program is for me. For my strength and health. Not for anyone else. I am surprised, every week, how much I love it. Find your inner why, and you will find a motivation that will empower you to achieve what you set out to accomplish.