A healthy relationship requires both people to be fully invested in it while not becoming absorbed by it. For if we become completely absorbed by each other, we may begin to think that it’s our partner’s job to make us feel fulfilled. We may also start to resent the time he wants us to spend with him if we’re not taking time for ourselves. Ultimately this sucks the relationship dry because nothing new enters into it.
Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together, yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.
– Kahlil Gibran on Marriage
But when we are each active in creating fulfillment in our own lives, the more we have to bring to our relationship. We bring the things we are learning, our need for support, and times for celebration into the space between us. This way our joyous love is nurtured and enlivened by each of our lives. We each bring ourselves to a healthy relationship rather than trying to find ourselves in it.
Spiritual Contemplation: What new things am I bringing to my relationships? Notice where you are absorbed in a relationship and where you are lifted by one.
Affirmation: My relationships are nurtured by my spiritual deepening, personal growth, and creative fulfillment. I have so much to offer to my relationships and I rejoice in what they bring to me.