Wrestling with Demons

I’ve spent the last 24 hours wrestling with demons. Ok, Ok, I know there aren’t really demons, only false beliefs, insecurities, and fears, but they sure can keep me awake at night and pacing around the room during the day.

So here I am working on writing this, hopefully inspiring, book using stories from my own life to show how anyone can use spiritual principles to make their own lives better. Sometimes I start writing in the shower or while I’m doing the dishes, and everything seems a lot clearer, and a whole lot funnier, in my head.  When I start putting it down on paper I think “OMG – it’s so serious and quite possibly really boring. Who wants to read this anyway?” I am literally face-to-face with my fear and insecurity. I do actually believe I have something to share, but can I say it in a way that is captivating and will it really inspire people to try it for themselves?

My demon shows up as all these seemingly rational reasons why this won’t work – “so why am I wasting my time on another book when there are already so many like this out there; everyone is watching videos today; who still reads anyway; there are a whole lot of people funnier and more engaging than I am, just look at how many more FB likes they get.” And I ask myself, “why in the world did you tell everyone you were going to do this?  Now you’re committed. Before it was a nice idea, but now you’ve got to pull it off!”  And then I look at all the craziness in the world and the significant issues we are facing and I think “what in the world am I writing about this for? We have so many bigger problems to work on than people being inspired to live happy, joyous, and free lives. Are you kidding me, the whole planet is at stake!” Pace, pace, toss and turn…

How does your demon of fear and insecurity show up? And do you listen to it? I can’t afford to listen to this voice in my head or I will stop writing. And then I’ll never know, will I, whether I had something to say, and whether or not it would inspire someone. So I confront my demon with Spiritual Truth – “comparison is the death of Joy.” I will not compare myself to others. I will not let my fear hold me back. I will not assume that everyone is always better than me. I will persevere! I will keep acting on this inner impulse I’ve had for years. I will do my very best, every day.

Whether you are thinking about starting a business, writing your own book or creative project, having a family, moving, or whatever it is that is the inner impulse that won’t let you go….go for it. Otherwise, you’ll never know, will you? And what’s the worst that can happen? Nothing. That’s right, absolutely nothing. “You’ll just get to keep talking about it until you and everyone else is tired of hearing about it. And then you will have to put your dream on the self of things that might have been, but you were too scared to know. I believe that worse than failure is never actually trying. If you try, then no matter what happens, at least you’ll know you went for it, and you didn’t play it safe or give in to your fears.” That’s what I say to my demon and that shuts her up, at least until we have to wrestle again.

We may have to say these kinds of things to ourselves many times along the way, but because we understand how the Universe works, we know that we are rewiring the fear-based grooves in the brain to a positive expectation of a creative outcome. We know that as we follow our intuition we are listening to Spirit’s impulse that is individualizing and expressing Itself as you and me. And I know that no matter what the outcome, success or failure are only human conditions. The spiritual truth is that I know who I AM. And I know who you are, too! Write On!