Family: From Fantasy to Freedom

Our family of origin is the birthplace of the subconscious patterns and beliefs we have about people, life, and ourselves. Ways of seeing the world and patterns of behavior can be passed down from generation to generation, both through example and through our cellular memory. We learn and carry forward things like abusiveness or victimhood, shame or love, openness or suspicion, as well as beliefs such as “life is hard” or “I can do anything!” These create the triggers that cause us to lash out, withdraw, shut down, or act out.

The problem, of course, is that we carry these things into each and every relationship we engage in. Every lover, friend, partner, and co-worker can be seen as through the eyes of “family” and trigger us into those family patterns, creating and re-creating the very family dynamics we seek to leave behind. Even here, in spiritual community, these patterns play out, creating misunderstanding, divisiveness, or a lack of trust.

This month we are diving into our family of origin from a spiritual perspective, that we may look at the issues that need healing from a calm, clear-eyed, observer perspective. The ability to acknowledge what’s there is the first step in healing old wounds. Naming false beliefs opens the door to changing them. Grieving the ideal family we never had begins the process of healing. Celebrating and seeing the good we did receive from our family moves us forward into emotional and spiritual maturity.

Supporting our exploration and empowering us to write a new ending, we turn to our book of the month “Rising Strong” by Brene Brown. Our path leads us through a reckoning with our past to a rumble in which we wrestle our story to the ground, creating a revolution in our beliefs and patterns, allowing us to Rise Strong in who we truly are.

Dr Petra

Book of the Month

Rising Strong by Brene Brown

Walking into our stories of hurt can feel dangerous. But the process of regaining our footing in the midst of struggle is where our courage is tested and our values are forged. Our stories of struggle can be big ones, like the loss of a job or the end of a relationship, or smaller ones, like a conflict with a friend or colleague. Regardless of magnitude or circumstance, the rising strong process is the same: We reckon with our emotions and get curious about what we’re feeling; we rumble with our stories until we get to a place of truth; and we live this process, every day, until it becomes a practice and creates nothing short of a revolution in our lives. Rising strong after a fall is how we cultivate wholeheartedness. It’s the process, Brown writes, that teaches us the most about who we are.