“How do I know if it’s my intuition or my ego talking?”  This is one of the most common questions as we continue deepening in spiritual living.  We’re told to listen, but we want ot know to what?  And we’re reminded the Spirit speaks in a still, small voice, but we don’t know if we’ve ever heard it.  Finally we admonished to follow our intuition, but we don’t always listen, and then we kick ourselves later.

Intuition is a powerful, yet easily illusive part of psycho/spiritual make-up.   Intuition has been defined by philosophers as another way of knowing, without using facts or sensory data to know something.  It has been defined in psychology as a gut instinct or simply a hunch.  In spirituality it is often referred to as the way God, or Spirit, makes itself known to us.   

Learning to listen to our intuition is something each of us has to learn on our own because there’s no one way that intuition shows up.  For some it really is a voice that tells them “stop, don’t go that way!”  For others it’s more of a quiet inner feeling, or a sense they should or shouldn’t do something.  For some people their intuition comes as phrases from a song, or the line that jumps off the page when they are reading a book.

Each of us has to learn how our intuition speaks to us.  Often we learn to recognize it in those moments when we say “I knew it, why didn’t I follow up on that?”  Each time that happens, take a moment to become aware of how you “knew it”.  What was the signal, feeling, sense, thought or words that came to you.  Now start paying attention the next time that happens.  You may be uncovering your intuition.

We will be exploring this all month at CSLDallas, by looking at our intuition and how it shows up, along with celebrating Mothers and Memorial Day.  Along with our “Joyous Living Journal” this month’s companion book is by Penny Pierce called “The Intuitive way”.  Join us as we go deeper into the wilds of our inner knowing, beyond fact, to that place where love and trust reside!

It seems to me that any conversation about Diversity is always about celebrating the uniqueness that each and every person shows up as, since each person, each being, actually each creation, is an individualized expression of the ONE.  It has been such a wonderful contemplation for me over the years to deeply engage with the question “what is unity in essence and multiplicity in form, really?”  This contemplation has so deeply enriched my treatments, my meditations, as well as my appreciation and enjoyment of this space/time continuum called the manifest Body of God.

In celebrating each individual’s uniqueness it seems to me that we are doing the same thing as when we honor each spiritual path.   We see the golden thread of unity between them all, and see the unique and precious contribution each one makes to the sum total of the evolution of human spirituality and consciousness.   Just so  there is a golden thread of unity between us regardless of ethnicity, culture, gender, sexual orientation, age, ability/disability,  and group/family/individual identity  and, just as importantly, each makes a unique and precious contribution to the tapestry of Life Itself.  Every strand of the tapestry is necessary and needed for the whole image of beauty and perfection to be expressed and the warmth, texture, and purpose of the tapestry to be fully experienced.

Thinking about Diversity invites us into this deeper contemplation and realization and celebration.

Walking around the lakes in the park by my house, despite the balmy 70 degrees, it is unmistakably fall.  The warm breeze caresses my cheek with sun-drenched kisses, but the grass is brown and dry.  Those trees that last week were brightly golden or blazing red, are now muted into soft browns and exposed bare limbs.  A few splashes of color here and there linger on, but not much.  As the sun sinks, embracing the walkers and joggers in its soft evening glow, the wind freshens.  In the wood left wild along the river, its fingers tug at every leaf as it murmurs through the trees.  It is searching out those that are ready, looking for the next to fall

I feel that same breath pressed ardently against my whole body as I walk briskly on the trail.  Life seems to be asking me what I'm ready to release as it whispers all around me. I wonder what I'm still holding onto that is ready to fall away.  I realize that while my soul is evergreen, my life, with all it's forms and circumstances, is more like a deciduous tree.  What things am I clinging to that are ready to fall away?  What notions about how life should be, stories I still carry around about myself, ways that I resist or hold back am I being invited to let fall?  What preconceptions false perceptions, or inauthentic attitudes have dried up and are ready to be blown away

I feel this insistence of the breeze as Life loving me into my greater yet to be.  Nature is an ardent lover, gentle, like today, yet powerful and passionate as well.  Life is not fooled by my clinging to the clothes of "normal" or "safe" nor by my feeble attempts to keep my light under the blanket, afraid to share its naked beauty.  If I can not release what I no longer need, the winter storms will come fiercely, to not only tear away the lingering leaves, but to rip off limbs and even uproot trees in its promise to blow everything away that is no longer strong, no longer serves, or is no longer enlivening my life and letting my light shine

Join me, during this turning of the season, in allowing Life to love you so ardently and so completely that you release fear and sink into Its embrace.  Here, then, in this quiet place, winter steals in, a fallow time from which the newness springs.  

Scientists are beginning to understand that the primary building block of the Universe is in fact Light, which is actually energy in visible form.  This energy is vibrating at different rates depending of the different states in which we see it, or experience it.  The slower it vibrates the denser it becomes, and conversely, the the faster it vibrates, the lighter it becomes.

We are also made up of energy, not only physically, but also as the emotional/mental state of our being, which is our energetic field.  This field, or the energetic body if you will, is exactly the same as the rest of the Universe.  It is vibrating at the rate which represents the state of consciousness we are experiencing.  When we are triggered, or bogged down in resentment, unforgiveness, our sense of not-enough or feeling isolated, these negative states cause our energetic field to become dense and heavy, which means  our vibrational rate is dropping.  And we all know how painful these feelings can be, and how hard it is to drag ourselves around when we feel this sluggish and slow.

The SINGLE, easiest, best way to raise your vibrational rate - no matter where you start or how you are feeling?  The Attitude of Gratitude!  Gratitude opens you heart and lightens your mind, which immediately begins to change the frequency of your energy field.  To start out with, you don't even have to find something to be grateful for in the situation that is creating density in the field.  Start with other things to be grateful for.    Notice, as you do so, how immediately everything starts to lighten up.  Once you've felt this lightening, over a few minutes, hours or even days, then you can turn your heart/mind to what has been dragging you down.  

As you create a higher vibration within yourself, you become a magnet for things and people that are vibrating at the higher rate.  And you become a broadcasting system for that higher frequency into the very energy field of Consciousness Itself.  Want to change the world and do good for the planet?  Start by raising your own vibrational rate.  Start by being grateful.   This is called "Enlightenment"!  

Happy Thanksgiving!

5 days in the presence of 250 people who are determined to be part of making the world a better place has truly been inspiring and personally clarifying.   We explored the intersection between spirituality and the crisis facing the world from 4 different angles -

Reconciling with the Other, Transforming Society, Embracing the Earth, and Rediscovering the Sacred.  We had two days of sharing with people who self-selected into these 4 areas of interest, and then we had a day of conversation where each group was mixed with folks from each area.

I would not say that anything radically new emerged, although lots of amazing programs and the work people are dong in the world was shared.  What did emerge, that was so extra-ordinary, was how each of these 4 areas are inextricably linked with the others, and that out of each area of concern, the same ideas, values, and areas to focus on emerged

Spiritually Motivated Social Engagement begins with our own deep spiritual connection to our own faith - the values, strength, commitment, and connection it brings us.  We must re-discover the sacred within ourselves, each other, and in all of our work including business, politics, economics, educations, and finally in the world/earth we live in. 

This then allows us to respect and honor "the other" including anyone and every living being and the planet, which, of course, radically alters our relationship to that other.  We must stop making "them" out there, we are all one human family living on one planet in one great Cosmos.

This respect and honoring must begin and will not fully blossom until we have true gender equality, both within our own nature, between men and women, and in all our societies, cultures, faiths, business, political, education, and family systems. 

This primary balancing of yin/yang heralds the balancing of all seeming opposites, taking out the "and" between them, and seeing the complimentarity which makes the whole:  spirit/matter, inside/outside, male/female, sacred/secular, work/family, business/faith, economics/care, profit/sustainability, us/them, human/divine, God/me, etc, etc.

This respect and honoring is evidenced by living shared values such as nonviolence, compassion, humility, accountability, inner strength, connection with something greater, and engagement in the world based on listening and responsiveness.  This means there are no easy answers nor does one size fit all. 

This completely alters our view about transforming society and helping change the world.  It's not about having the solutions or cookie cutter templates or even helping the disadvantaged.  Rather its about facilitating the process of what is needed and wanted in any given particular situation, guided by the shared values, informed by respectful listening and conversation.  A transformed society will only come about when we work at all levels: personally within as we deepen our spirituality; individually in our daily acts of conscious participation in our lives, our work and world, and on our planet; collectively when we have integrity, accountability and congruence with our shared values in how we operate in our families, in business, politics, education, and in the world at large; and  globally when we stand for these values, expect them to be lived, and continually compassionately confront any place where they are missing

Particular emphasis was placed on the following no matter which area people where concerned with:  spiritual deepening and living shared values; integrity, mutual respect, and spiritual consciousness must be reinvigorated in our education, business, and political models and ways of operating;  That arts, beauty, and nature all contribute an opening to a new way;  That the feminine must be as present as the masculine; that everything must take into consideration care for our planet; and that all people matter and must be listened to, respected, and included, especially our youth and our elders.

A tall order, but it's already being lived by so many people in so many places.  Most work is being done outside of the normal channels and hierarchical structures.   This  seems to work better than trying to change things from within.  Eventually those old structures either follow in line or simply collapse.  

A Charter for Spiritually Motivated Social Engagement was worked on at the end of the conference, and when it is completed, I'll pass that along as well.

  Today was Thich Nhat Hahn's birthday.  What an amazing man.  One of the most profound things he said was "The Kingdom of God" in Christianity is what Buddhists would call the Body of the Cosmos.  Since being in Europe, I have become extremely sensitive to the language I use to talk about spiritual living and spirituality.  Most of the "God" language just doesn't work.  This has reminded me that for years I steered away from the term "God" because it was too easy to get into the old connotations of what that word meant.  I have used The Universe, The Divine, Universal Mind, and Spirit in the past to help me associate with an entirely different notion of what this spiritual reality is that we are talking about.  

"Universal Mind" had always invited me into a deeper relationship with co-creation and the power of choice.  "Spirit" has helped me release the anthropomorphic being with an outline that looked a lot like a giant old man.  "The Divine" reminds that everything about Reality is always and already sacred and holy.  "The Universe" makes it completely impersonal and reminds me that the Whole operates with spiritual laws in the same way the physical world operates with natural laws.

Recently I have found myself drawn to a different set of words - Oneness, The One, Wholeness, Reality, or simply, Life.  These words actually have no "holy" or "Divine" meaning to me, and I noticed that as Thich Nhat Hahn spoke, he, too, used words that  didn't really have any "holy" connotations to them as we are so used to from our Judeo-Christian heritage.  He focused on words that described simply Reality and our relationship to it.  For the first time, I really resonated with the notion of "Cosmos"....a single, living, breathing organism...a wholeness...the ONE.  

We are, I AM, a place where the ONE Life, this Cosmos, has birthed a part of itself that can be conscious and self-aware.  This means that the Cosmos, the ONE, can now see, know, and experience itself.  When we know who we are, we realize that we are living in and as the body of the Cosmos, that we can not every be separate from it.  That would be like thinking that our hand could be separate from our arm.  There is no separation, only a profound awareness of self that comes with being an individuated part of the whole.  

This awareness is the same awareness we use to be mindful of each and every aspect of reality that we engage with.  By engaging in mindfulness, not only are we being present in the here and now, but the reason it is a state of bliss and joy is because it is the only way, time or place that the Cosmos has that it can look into the mirror and see itself.  And oh what amazing beauty it sees in that mirror - the bright red leaf, the eye crinkled in a smile, the field ripe for harvest, the water flowing from the tap, the home constructed with love, the harnessing of electricity and electronics, and  so much more.  We are, I AM, an inlet and outlet for Life itself, to be, become, express and experience in a unique and precious, never-to-be-repeated way, just a the same water doesn't flow by no matter how long you stand by the side of the stream.

 It's so interesting being in a monastic setting, around nuns who have taken these vows.  Of course the men are in a different Hamlet to help with the vow of chastity!  I can remember years when I dreamed of nothing more than to retreat to a hermitage and live a monastic type life.  That is simply no longer the case for me.  I notice that I find the notion of these vows oppressive and restrictive, and not particularly in alignment with my spirituality or full out spiritual living.  I realize that I have moved completely to a place of being in the world, and not of it.   

Poverty - how often have I been confronted with my own vow of poverty?  It's not spiritual to focus on money...someone that rich probably isn't really happy anyway....it's more spiritual to simply follow Spirit and live in the spiritual world....  I remember the first time someone asked me, in a prosperity seminar, to take a vow of prosperity instead.  Oh, did that make me squirm.  Today I regularly take a vow of prosperity for myself and for every other person on the face of the planet.  As I have been deeply contemplating living in enoughness, I know that enough is true prosperity for each and every one

Chastity - More of the devaluing of the body and the earth-based human reality and experience, as far as I can tell.  Surely we need the energy of all our chakras to be opened and aligned.  The sexual and sensual experiences of life are as important and powerful as the enlightened mind and the awakened heart.   We have, after all, 3 lower chakras through which we are engaged in the energy and creativity and power of life, along with the three upper chakras which open us to the higher realms of insight and intuition.  Both the lower and the higher need to be aligned through the heart into clarity of purpose.    To deny the lower altogether seems like we are not having to confront, as well as simply missing out on, half of life

Obedience - I am reminded that I never required obedience from my son, rather I wanted him to grow up as a person with character.  I wanted him to be someone who could say a real "yes" and a real "no".   I learned obedience through fear of my father.  This is completely different than learning about the consequences of ones choices and actions. I believe this is much more important.  It's so easy to be told what to do, how to think, how to practice, and how to be.  But to truly learn to choose and decide to live a life aligned with Spirit, Love, Joy, Peace and Beauty on our own, because we believe that will make a difference in our life and in the lives of those around us....now that is spiritual discipline to me

I choose to take the vows of enoughness, compassion, and awareness.   What vows are you willing to take in your life?  

 Much time is spent in silence here at Plum Village.  We have silence from 9 at night till 9 in the morning.  We eat most of our meals in silence, walk in silence, stand in line in silence, and do our dishes in silence.  After the talk and walk with Thich Nhat Hahn we had a formal lunch together, all 300 people from the three Hamlets.  This meant that after we got our lunch we all went back into the meditation Hall, sat on our cushion and ate in silence together.  The men sat on one side facing the women who sat on the other.  We listened to some readings and chanting, and then ate our meal.

Thich Naht Hahn shared that the formal lunch was an opportunity for the Sangha to be nourished together as one living organism, forgetting superiority, inferiority and equality.  I noticed that I had some judgement around the whole thing.  Our food got cold, it was awkward to eat siting on the cushions, and surely all this silence in line and in eating was just a way to keep things a bit more organized and flowing more smoothly (read controlled). 

Seeking to practice breathing in and breathing out, simply being with what is and allowing myself to find joy in the moment, I realized that actually much good was achieved by the Noble Silence.  Firstly there was no vying for attention, who sat next to whom or talked to whom, so no one could feel 'in" or "left out".  Secondly, while I was feeling a bit overwhelmed by the sheer number of people after so much time away from these kinds of groups, I realized that the silence actually allowed me to be alone in the group without feeling isolated or separate.  I was, in fact, a part of the Sangha body, feeding and nourishing this (my) portion of the whole, and I found pleasure in that thought.  Finally, I also realized that the silence and the breathing opened a space for me to have these other two insights!

Perhaps we all need to find ways to have Noble Silence in our lives, both individually  and collectively.  I know I have been enjoying silence throughout my sabbatical and really feel the need for the space in my life.  What about you?  

 It was quite special to hear Thich Nhat Hahn today at Plum Village.  He shared his peace activism in Vietnam during the war, and how it was illegal and dangerous work.  Nuns and monks disappeared, his school for Social workers was raided and people killed, and his home was bombed.  What an amazing idea that it was illegal to be for peace, but both sides were afraid that he and his group were actually working for the other side.  I wonder if we would be so ardently and fully for peace if we knew it was dangerous or might even cost us our lives?

Thich Nhat Hahn then went on to share the first four practices in Buddhism with us.  

1- Breathing in and Breathing out - this is mindfulness.  

2 - Following the breath to it's completion - this is concentration.  

3 - Using the breath to connect to your body - this is being with what is.  

4 - Releasing tension in the body with the breath - this is happiness

A simple and profound reminder of how important it is to take the time to stop and breath. 

Thich Nhat Hahn also constantly reminded us that the practice is to be enjoyed.  Nothing should be stressful.  Just sitting when sitting, walking when walking, and in each moment using the breath to come fully present with whatever is.  Taking the breath as an opportunity to stop and simply be with the beauty and joy of the moment. 

The talk and the mindfulness walk both were wonderful opportunities for me to realize that I have been in a deep state of mindfulness practice most of my time on sabbatical.  Walking, drinking in the beauty of my surroundings....stopping regularly for quiet moments to simply be and be present....focusing my thoughts and whatever conversations I've had only on what's going on in the moment, not the past or the future....Noticing that every moment is a moment of great joy and gratitude for this sabbatical experience, and for my life, and for all life around me.

The trick, of course, is to stay in this mindfulness in the midst of ordinary daily living.  That's what I plan on bringing home from this retreat and from my sabbatical.  How are you being mindful in your life?

Today is my first day at Plum Village, one of Thich Nhat Hahn's 5 retreat centers around the world.  There are 46 nuns and 45 women here on retreat. It's rustic, quiet, and the day revolves around the practices - mindfulness and meditation in sitting, eating, and walking

This morning, after breakfast, we also had working meditation.  Everyone was assigned an area of the Center to work on, the flower or vegetable garden, sweeping walkways, cutting back trees, or cleaning up buildings.  I was assigned to the mediation hall.

Upon arriving there, I learned that we were stuffing the thin square foam mats back into their purple covers, which had just been washed.  Seemed like an easy enough task.  The sister showed us how to lightly bend the mat, draw the cover over it, make sure it went all the way into the top corners, and then work down to the flap at the bottom.  Took some time, because the material was tight, but it was a straight forward task.

10 minutes later I was still trying to get the foam flat in my fist cover.  Sister had already completed 4 and others were done with at least 2, while I couldn't get mine to go flat.  I noticed that others around me were certainly having a bit of challenge, but not like me.  Isn't it amazing how fast we can assume that we're doing it wrong?  I kept trying to figure out what I wasn't doing right.  Then I started making spiritual significance of this struggle I was having, deciding that it meant I was doing my practice right.  Now I don't usually beat myself up any more or automatically assume I'm somehow at fault, so when I realized this was happening, I immediately stopped and asked Sister for help.  I simply owned up to the fact that I couldn't get it to work right.  She smiled and told me it was not a problem, and that she would help me. 

After turning that one over to her, I got another mat and cover and began working on it again.  I noticed that I was still not having any luck with getting it too fit.  Just about that time, Sister removed the foam from my original cover and laid it down on top of the foam.  Then she quietly told the rest of us that it would also be good to measure the cover on the foam to see if it would fit.  Turns out it wasn't me at all.  Clearly some of the covers had shrunk in the wash.  Also turns out that the next 3 covers I got were too small for the foams pieces.  Not only was I saved from massive frustration, but so were others when they, too, ran into the problem of the covers being too small.  Since everyone was now making sure, no more time was wasted on those that didn't fit.   Turned out that by my asking for help, it went better for all of us

Perhaps if we lived a little bit less in the world of comparison, and a little bit more in the world as it is, we might find it a lot easier to deal with challenging situations.  There's always something for us to learn, this is true, but not because we're at fault or can't do it right.  Simply because there's something for us to learn.  I always find learning a forward moving and uplifting feeling event, rather than the burden and heaviness of fault finding.  This is true not only about ourselves, but also in the way we relate to others.  It's always about learning and growing, never about blame or fault. 

  Walking along a beautiful sandy beach on the North Sea I noticed that the sand was very similar to the beaches of Ocean City New Jersey.  As I sat and listened to the water  it occurred to me that waves just like this are hitting beaches all over the world, and that no matter what we may call that particular part of the ocean, it's actually all part of the same immense body of water.  Through these oceans we are all connected.

I also realized that although the ocean may seem infinite,  it's not.  Nothing on the planet is infinite.  Nothing that's in physical form is actually infinite.  There is infinite Life and Infinite Energy, infinite Love and infinite possibilities but we can not keep using our resources as if they were infinite.   

In meditation we can touch the infinite, experience the inner infinite of our spiritual being.   This is a powerful and positive thing to do.  It centers us and helps us know the truth of our being.  But it also occurred to me that sometimes we meditate or try to become more spiritual because we are trying to transcend, or escape, from our normal, ordinary lives.  It's easy to keep looking for the spiritual high where we float in an ocean of oneness and bliss and return back to our spiritual source.  But Life, Spirit, already lives there.  It doesn't actually need us to have that experience, it's already being oneness and bliss.

What if we are the way Spirit, Life, is actually experiencing Itself?  Do the waves experience themselves, or are they just there being waves, crashing on the shore?  What if we are here to be the experiencer of Life?  Not to transcend Life or try to get above it, but to bring our whole selves to it. To truly and completely be present in the moment, to savor it, experience it.  To hear the sound and appreciate the beauty and see the presence of Life right here, right now?  Then our meditation is for the purpose of  clearing away the clutter and noise in our minds so that we can be more present as the place where Life is experiencing Itself.

I had my first long walk in the Black Forest today.  It's a friendlier, more comfortable place than the mountains.  Glaciers and snow capped peaks are awesome and clearly Nature's Cathedrals, where one feels how insignificant a small human life can be in the grand scheme of things.  These hills, where one walks between groves of firs into stands of alders, and then into hillsides of mixed trees, invite a different experience.  The "Wander Weg" (hiking trail) moves between rough roads, mountain bike trails, and foot paths, along hillsides and over ridges.  Today started cloudy and ended cloudy with a few hours of sunshine in between.

As I had walked for an hour or so this lovely poem by Wordsworth popped into my mind:  "I wandered lonely as a cloud...."  Nonsense!  I wandered free as a bird and softly as a deer, gathering strength from the rocks beneath me feet and feeling rooted through the trees that towered over me.  I was serenaded by bees and accompanied by flowers.  I was embraced by the Mother.  No lovers caress was ever as soft as the breeze which cooled the sweat from my face or the sunlight which kissed my hair.

I watched the leaves quivering in the caress of the breeze today and saw how the dappled light revealed their inner glow.  I lingered in a pine cathedral, awakened to the solemn stillness and profound mystery of Presence. This is joy! 

Every once in a while I'd meet another of the Mother's children, walking or biking, and with a "Guten Tag" we'd smile to each other.  How wonderful to greet others who feel the call, traversing her bountiful hills,  gliding into her valleys, and being  held in the arms of her grace.

I am once again amazed at the profound beauty of the ONE in all it's forms. 

  Hiking in the mountains is always a bit chancy.  You never know what the weather will be, how the trail will hold up, or how you will hold up.  I've been out hiking every day - in Germany is actually called "wandering".  I really like that so much better.  Let's go wander around in the woods and mountains.  Sometimes I think that's really what we're doing in our own lives.  Wandering around from experience to goal, from relationship to self expression, from work to play, from our little self to the Divine Presence within.

To wander in the mountains I've learned you need to be prepared for many possibilities, without carrying 50 lbs of protection.  In the past three days I've experience this in many different way.  I've hiked around the rain without getting a drop on me, always simply aiming for the sun or the lightness in the sky.  It's amazing how simple it can be to follow the light.  

I've also been caught in the rain, and taken shelter in one of the little huts that are all over the swiss mountainside.  These huts are for the cows. The hay that's cut right there on the mountain, is stored right there in a hut, and then it's available, right there, for the cows in winter.  Now there's a metaphor if I've ever seen one.  Everything already available right when and where it is needed.  And then these huts are always open and available to any passing wanderer.  No one is worried that something will be taken or trashed. And everyone is very clear about leaving things just as they found them. Generosity on a massive scale.  I arrived at the hut just 1 minute before the rain, and sat in the doorway for about an hour while it blew over.  How amazing that I arrived just on time and what I needed was there!

It's not uncommon for people who are wandering for a number of days to actually do so at night, with lights on their hats or in their hands.  I thought I saw a light moving through the woods along the valley from the patio of my hotel one evening, and asked about it.  I also met a couple from Germany who were wandering for 2 weeks and they said they often hiked at night.  Hmmm, I've never done that before.  Be careful what you ask for!  The last hike, which was a huge, straight up push a mountainside above the lakes, going for the view, took me so long that I didn't get down in time.  Now I've always carried a flashlight in my backpack because it's one of the 10 essentials, but it's also  seemed a bit odd to me, since I've never needed it.  Until yesterday.  I hiked that last 35-45 minutes in pitch darkness, using my flashlight where the trail was really muddy and steep.  So all that work to be be ready when things didn't work so well, really paid off.

We're often confronted with rain in our own lives.  And yet with our spiritual tools we are actually prepared to deal with it. There's usually assistance somewhere around when we need it.  And everything we really need is always right here and right now available to us, because we've cultivated our spiritual awareness and stored up our spiritual food for the times of rain or winter.

  "I want to do that!" I thought, while I watched the paragliders circling the Jungfrau for what seemed like hours.  One jump $160 for 10-15 minutes in the air, including photos and a short video.  Seems expensive.  And scary.  I've actually never had an interest in jumping out of a airplane - to noisy, too much like standing there at the edge of the high dive deciding whether or not to jump, and too much free failing.  Maybe it's the mountains, but this felt different. So I booked my flight

I met my instructor at the cable car the next town up, and we walked 10 minutes UP a very steep hillside to the local launch spot.  It so happened that there were some women their making their own private flights, and then two of us with tandem jumps.  It was good to watch a few launches before my turn.  But I was definitely getting anxious, I could feel it in my stomach.  And I noticed I was having a hard time not talking myself out of doing this.  The valley is really, really far down.  

I got latched into the seat harness, received instructions, and then the instructor, Chris, asked me if I was ready to go.  My instinct said "no way, are you crazy", but what I said instead, was "I think so".  Ok, 2 steps, feel the chute grab the wind and when you feel that resistant you start running down a VERY steep grassy slope.  I don't know what I expected - something hard and scary, I guess.  What really happened was I took the two steps, felt the chute grab the wind, and couldn't move.  Then Chris started moving from behind and I started picking up speed - cant' say it was really running - and all of a sudden we were effortlessly lifted into the air.  Just like that.  No more than 5 steps.  "Sit back" and away we went, for 10-15 of the most thrilling minutes of my life.

I couldn't help but think about how easy it turned out to be.  Simply step of the edge and be instantly supported and lifted into the beauty.  In my mind I'd made it so much harder that it really was.  When I felt us simply glide away, I felt the miracle of being lifted and supported.  Isn't this the way it is and the way it's always supposed to be.  Our job is to deice the what and then move forward on that decision.  There may be moments when we wonder what in the world we are doing.  There may be moments where significant effort is required.  Undoubtedly there will be moments when we need some help from someone else.  But if we are willing to simply step off the edge, guaranteed we will be lifted and supported, and life will carry us away on a thrilling journey toward our destination.

I didn't really know where we were planing to fly and apparently there is a bit of a route, but then it all depends on where the lift is.  We actually flew back into the little valley in which I'm staying looking for lift off the warm rocky hillside.  Didn't find too much, just a little, so we circled back around and flew right over the "Pension Gimmelwald" where I'm staying.  I got some great pictures!  Then we flew right over the edge of the 2000 foot cliff and into the bigger valley. Again we flew along the cliff side, looking for lift, enjoying the view, and taking picture of the waterfalls as they plunged down beside us.  As we made our way along and slowly down, we swung wide into the middle of the valley and Chris took us into a slow lazy circle.  Then he decided to make it more exciting and spun is around 2-3 times really fast.  'Whee" - the best ride I've ever been on.  And what's to be scared about.  It's just more of the same, only different!  Just because it's a little different, should I all of a sudden not trust what was happening

I  was reminded of the dance I think we are always having with life.  Decide what you want or where you are going - and then there's the feeling into how to make the happen.  We have to listen for those things that lift us toward our "what".  Sometimes we have to take a different route or a complete detour.  Sometimes we have to simply break out and do something completely crazy but in in the same vein we've learned to trust.   We get there if we keep the end firmly fixed in mind.  And then we are reminded that the real joy is in the journey itself, isn't it?

Getting my picture taken has not always been easy for me.  When I was a kid it would take 20 minutes of my dad fiddling with the light meter, camera settings and our posses, along with lots of muttering and cursing, for him to take the shot.  Inevitably it ended with "Smile, damn it!"  I have worked hard to allow myself to be photographed and videoed without it looking like someone had a gun to my head.   All this changed when I stated being photographed by  someone who  loves  me.

This came up in conversation yesterday and again today as I listened to our speakers this morning.  The massage came through from both Dennis Merritt Jones and David Ault to be who you are!  AND that who you are is enough!  Everything stems from my worthiness - my ability to expect and accept my good.  I got to look at the number of stories I had already created or perpetuated this morning - including the one about not liking to be photographed.  My photographs never being good enough had some how translated into I'm not good enough.

How many times do I hold myself back with my own feelings of unworthiness.  Talking with a friend about his new book, and how it's really outside the box for him, really hit home with me about how often I am scared to get out of my own box because i don't feel good enough.  This feeling is a lie, but believing it makes it true in my experience.

So, now is the time to simply stop believing in the lie of our unworthiness, for all of us.  We don't need to analyze why we feel unworthy, it's just a habit, that's all.  I want to get into the habit of feeling that I am, we are all, good enough!  This starts with knowing  that is actually the Truth, and continually reminding myself of this truth - ESPECIALLY when I don't feel it.  

I walked to Lake Geneva today on tree lined dirt lanes, past swiss cows and little baby goats, with one of my favorite people in the world.  We were sharing  deep personal conversations, laughing and being silly, while enjoying the beauty of the flowers and the ancient moss covered walls.  This was after a lovely walking tour of Geneva this morning with a really lovely group of spiritual beings.  Touristing interspersed with deep connections and heartfelt conversations.

The Chateau de Bossey is over 500 years old, with beautiful old building, lovely restorations, and modern additions.  It has a fantastic view over lake Geneva into the Alps. I have a 5 minute walk up a tree lined country lane to the converted barn where our rooms are, slightly away from the hustle of the whole conference center. We are surrounded by fields of corn and sunflowers, and quaint little villages.

We finished the evening with dinner under the huge trees outside, and a lovely wine and cheese reception in which we explored deep spiritual and theological ideas about New Thought, ministry, and spiritual growth.  The whole day was a bit like being in a dream or a movie.  

I used to be plagued with that old feeling of waiting for the other shoe to drop.  Or I was busy noticing all the little things that weren't right or that could go wrong.  Or worse yet, I was desperately trying to get people to like me while being massively judgmental about them and keeping myself closed and set apart.  I didn't believe it really could be this good.  And yet, this is my life.  The life I'm experiencing based on the choices I've made about who I am, what I do, and how I choose to show up in the world.  Today, rather than being worried about what might happen next, I can say with a grateful heart - I love my life!  What a difference.  To own and accept that not only am I responsible for the sh*t that I've created in my life, but I get to be just as responsible for the good stuff.  Not only do I have to look at, learn from, and grow through the challenges, but I also get to revel in, enjoy, and savor my amazing demonstrations.  Wow!  I am so gratefl!!

My flight leaving DFW to Washington DC left 1 1/2 hours late.  I immediately had a choice - get frustrated and antsy or simply use the time to finalize some arrangements.  I worked on my email, sent some last texts, and hardly noticed the time going by.  Besides that, good enough, I had a 2 1/2 hour lay over in DC.  I practiced breathing and didn't pay too much attention.

Arriving in DC, I grabbed my last burger that I'll probably get for months, and easily boarded the flight to Geneva.  Sitting in coach, economy class I noticed that the seats with slightly more room started in the row right in front of me.  I was a little bummed that I hadn't paid the small upgrade fee to sit there, and felt squashed in my row where every seat was full.  I practiced breathing.   Just after the doors were closed, the flight attendant came by and whispered to me to move up one, into the very seat I'd been looking at!  Hooray.  I practiced breathing.

We taxied away from the gate, and almost got to the runway, when there seemed to be a fair amount of commotion in the back.  One of the sinks in the aft bathroom had started to overflow.  45 minutes later, we were told it would be an hour for the spare part to arrive.  An hour after that we pulled up to a different gate and were told we could get off the plane but we would need to be back in 15 minutes to be ready to leave.  I decided to stretch my legs and practice breathing.

Re-boarding the airplane, we sat for another 20 minutes and were then told the new part couldn't be tested with everyone on board.  Everyone would need to leave the plane and take all our belongings with us.  Lots of moaning and groaning and complaining around me.  I got off, used the time to downloaded 3 more books onto my kindle, and practiced breathing.  

Getting back on the plane, I noticed the pilots out on the gangway, so I thanked them for letting us get off the plane - that it was so much better than siting inside for 4 hours.  One of the pilots comments on the storms that were slowing everything down.  After re-boarding again, we sat for another hour waiting for the storms to subside and the traffic to clear out so we could leave.  I read, and I practiced breathing.

When we finally lifted off 4+ hours late, I noticed that I wasn't upset, anxious or in any way bothered.  On take off, the toddler a couple rows back from me starting crying, then screeching, which she did on and off, for most of the flight.  I practiced breathing.  I didn't sleep much, but I also didn't get upset or anxious.

Lessons learned?  Be present to what is and simply keep practicing breathing.   I think this will be my primary spiritual practice while on my sabbatical.  Remembering to breath and letting it be what it is without resistant or upset.

Rocky Mountain weather - it may be a little cloudy between 6 and 8 AM but by 9 it's crystal clear and time for hiking.  Definitely you want to be on the trail by 9:30 because of the afternoon rains.  What rains, you ask, when it's so clear and beautiful this morning.  HaHa  Don't be fooled.  I pack a denim shirt, a fleece jacket and a rain jacket, even if it's 85 outside.  Between 11 and 12 interesting clouds start to appear, and by 1 there are some really lovely thunderheads brewing.  By 2 PM their started to get darker and closer together and by 3 it's starting to rumble.  if you're not off the trail by 4 you can almost count on getting wet and if it really starts to blow the temperatures can drop by 25 degrees in 20 minutes.  

This has been exactly our experience on every hike so far!  It's a bit unnerving to start hearing those deep rumbles while we're racing down the trail to get to the car before it breaks.  But when we've got over an hour still to go, it's hard to stay that worked up. Especially when it just drizzles or we dissever we're actually completely prepared.  I noticed on the last hike that rather than feeling like the thunder was chasing us off the mountain, it had actually become a friendly warning, not threatening or scary anymore.

I wondered to myself, how often to i run from thunder in my own life  or try to avoid it at all costs, when in fact it might just be a friendly warning to pay attention.  Rather than running from the thunder, I'm learning to listen to it's message, remember that it's seldom as bad as it seems, and that if I'm prepared, everything will be alright!  Hmmmm - hope I can remember these things in the city and not just on the mountain.